I’ve never been a picky eater. There are only a few things I don’t like, but I’ll still eat them. Ketchup or BBQ sauce on eggs aren’t my favorite. Carrots are a little boring. But overall, if it’s food, I like it. Tyler, on the other hand….. Not so much. The kid is so incredibly strange. Apparently his brother, Brandon, is the same way. Brandon’s wife, Ali, admits that her eating habits have changed cause it’s simply too much of a hassle to modify every single meal to fit both of their tastes.
Let’s go over the list of what I know Tyler won’t eat. It’s very difficult to keep straight.
Mayo
Salad dressing of any kind
Cream cheese
Sour Cream
Yogurt
Cottage cheese
Whipped cream or whipped topping
American, provolone, Gouda, brie, or any cheese that’s not cheddar, parm, or mozzarella (on pizza only)
Nutella
Sauce of any kind except tomato (no chunky tomato)
Brown mustard
Hot sauce
Artichokes
Any sort of mashed root veggies except plain white Idaho potatoes
Hummus or anything containing chicpeas
Coffee or coffee flavored stuff
Seafood of any kind ( NO SUSHI!)
Non-all beef, Angus hot dogs
Soy products of any kind
Non-scrambled eggs
Anything that looks like, smells like, or sounds like vinegar
Avocados
This would be half of my grocery list if I were living by myself.
Then there are the things he will eat an entire plate of and I just look at and scratch my head. Scrambled eggs with a half bottle of BBQ sauce or ketchup. Really? At 9 in the morning?
A beautiful mixed greens salad with grilled chicken, peppers, and onions with no dressing. None. Dry. I’ll give him that it’s more healthy without, but what a drag.
And the gagging fits he’ll throw when I’m enjoying a spoon full of delicious Greek yogurt or cottage cheese. Oh the humanity! You would think I had suggested a radish covered in manure to a 4-year-old by the way he swings his head back and forth and heaves uncontrollably. And that’s just the response to being in the same room.
There are many situations where Tyler and I will play-irritate each other. We both know how to get under each others’ skin and we take full advantage in most cases, but this is one place where I have to know my place. The fury that will ensue if I dare to even pretend I’m going to force a taste upon him would be comical if it weren’t sad.
Let’s remember that Tyler just had a birthday. He is now closer to 30 than he is to 20. He also claims to be a very open-minded, free-spirited person. EXCEPT WHEN IT COMES TO FOOD. No, no, double-triple no. He will not try it. Any of it. Not in a million years. And he will pout for days if you even suggest that guacamole is actually really good. Or that you might actually like soy milk in your cereal.
And that brings me to my final point, which is really a side-note, but deserves mention. Name brands. I will admit that on a rare occasion a product with a name brand on the label is better than the generic, store brand. But it’s not solely because they’re a name brand. It’s just the better product in that case. Tyler would disagree. Name brands are always better. Always. When it comes to cereal especially. We have come to a sort-of compromise (at least I think) on name brands. I will let one or two slide as long as the majority of the cart is of the less expensive, just-as-good variety of foods without the fancy label and commercial on TV.
So to all the picky eaters out there, get over it. It’s really good. All of it.
