My ears hurt

Do you hear that?

For the past year, I’ve had an interesting time finding things out about myself. Yes, I turn 30 in 2 weeks and I’m still figuring basic stuff about myself out. Awesome.

The most fascinating is some genius put a name on a “condition” my family labeled as “bratty.” I was less bratty than I was a complete misery of a teenager no one wanted to be around ever.

Speaking of miserable, this little affliction makes me feel completely crazy and makes people around me absolutely loathe my existence.

It’s now being called misophonia and apparently I’m not the only crazy one… by far. Even Kelly Rippa claims she turns into the Incredible (more like insufferable) Hulk when her ears fixate on certain noises.

Check this video out. The good part starts around 0:33. And by good, I mean I can’t watch with the audio without having my heart explode out of my big toe.

Sensory Overload (Interacting with Autism Project) from Miguel Jiron on Vimeo.

So here’s what happens to me.

Everything’s fine. Skipping right along on my day. Then a moment of silence followed by – say – a deep breath from the person sitting near-ish to me at work. And it’s over. My day is ruined. I can’t hear anything else and the breathing makes me feel like I’m gonna cry. (I’ve done it before, I’ll cry because you’re breathing again…)

Some other favorite noises of mine – swallowing, chewing, typing, jingly bracelets, toe-tapping, jaw-popping, buzzing lights, clinking metal, shuffling papers, tapping pens, clicking pens, pens in general.

So what happens next? My skin feels like it’s peeling off my face. My ears are ringing. I can feel the urge to cry beating down the smiling corners of my mouth and tears come bubbling from my eyes.

What it looks like: that girl next to you started crying for no apparent reason.

Something I have learned, medication helps. See this post. I’ve also learned making everyone around me aware of my crazy allows me to later verbalize my frustration with a noise no one else hears without the shock of my crazy following.

Related read: What if someone breaks into my house and microwaves my cat?

 

 

 

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